Perfectly Normal

This is just so biblical. An Israeli couple rushing to catch a charter flight to Paris got all their kids on board, but left their three-year-old daughter behind at the boarding gate, according to an Associated Press report from August 4. The AP quotes the Israeli Haaretz newspaper quoting the child’s grandmother: “We’re in shock. They [the parents] are very responsible and organized, top-notch people. Apparently one relied on the other, and this is what happened.”

Biblical, like I said, sort of like that time Mary, Joseph and their 12-year-old son, Jesus, went off to Jerusalem for a festival, reported in St. Luke’s gospel. The boy, remember, ended up missing. St. Luke laconically reports: “When the festival was ended, Jesus stayed behind but his parents did not know it.” Of course they didn’t know it. They’re parents. What makes anyone think they knew anything at all? Jesus decided to hang around the Temple and chat it up with the teachers and rabbis. In which case you wonder why one of those guys didn’t ask, “Shouldn’t you be getting back to your folks about now.” To which every sensible 12-year-old boy would reply, “Naw. They won’t mind.” Point is, if the 12-year-old knew where he was, why bother his parents with the information?

Mary and Joseph head back to Nazareth with the other pilgrims. Joseph walks with the men, thinking Jesus is with Mary. Mary walks with the women, thinking Jesus with Joseph. They travel the entire day like this and stop for the night. Apparently, to quote a contemporary Jewish grandmother, one relied upon the other. The conversation at this point, according to a Gnostic variant invented for this purpose, goes like: “What do you mean, you haven’t seen him? I left him with you.” “Whoa, buddy, what do you mean you left him with me?” So they turn back to Jerusalem – another day of travel – to undertake what becomes a three-day search. The boy, in short, is five days missing.

Where would you begin a search for a 12-year-old boy? I’d start at the mall. Maybe they did too, prowling the Jerusalem bazaars, because I’m certain no one would begin with the church. Then, perhaps to pray for the safety of their son as other parents have done, they turn to the Temple. There he is, talking to the teachers and religious leaders, “listening to them and putting questions,” notes St. Luke. St. Luke also notes, “and all who heard him were amazed at his intelligence and the answers he gave.” This, should you wonder, is gospel-code for, “Pity that kid’s rabbi.”

Mary, upon whom generations of Christians have lavished all manner of exalted titles except Typical Mother, becomes Typical Mother. “Why,” she demands, “did you do this to us?”

Parents tend to take these things entirely too personally. When a kid does something parents always feel it was done specifically to them, because they are parents. They just can’t comprehend any other reason. It is the only thing that can account for their child’s behavior. By parental thinking, kids do things to demoralize them, worry them, test them, cost them extra money, embarrassment, peace of mind, sleep at night, extra laundry, gas in the car and tread on the tires. And every parent has the right to ask, “Why did you do this to me?”

The 12-year-old Jesus responds as Typical Pre-Teen. “Mom, Dad. Why were you looking for me? Didn’t you know where I’d be?” To 12-year-old minds all parents possess GPS implants – “where’s my” fill in the blank – which extends also to their personal location. No worry, no problem. Cool. But then the boy adds that coy hook, a guilt-inducing jab. “Didn’t you know I must be in my Father’s house?”

I’m a parent, you know, big time, seven kids. That remark hits me like my oldest, when 12, once telling me in all seriousness, “You know, I only tell you these things so you’ll be a better parent to the other children.” Uh huh. And I, my heart full of the love that only a father can feel for a son, replied, “Talk to me like that again and I’ll knock the wheels off your skateboard.”

St. Luke takes a milder approach. He merely reports that Mary and Joseph “didn’t understand what he was saying.” I don’t doubt it. The boy is missing five days and when they find him, he nonchalantly dismisses their worry and casually questions their intelligence. There the story ends, sort of.

I’ve never been able to read this story except as a parent, and I’m glad, even heartened, to find out that Jesus was a normal kid, perfectly normal, pretty much like my kids growing up. The Letter to the Hebrews makes the point, “he was made like his brothers in every respect. . . .” This story tells me that even the best of parents can end up worrying about their children, even if the child happens to be the best of children. So, just as God used that little family in Nazareth to sanctify the whole world, so we may pray that our families will sanctify our small corner of the world where we live. God knows, this world needs it.

St. Luke adds a small post-script after the episode in the Temple. “He went down to Nazareth with them . . . and grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and neighbor.” That’s a fair wish for all our children. May they each grown in stature, find favor with God and neighbor, and maybe even, please, pick up a little wisdom along the way.

Pastor Russ